Poetry.

Stepping on the scale

Praying I lost weight

The number that the scale tells me

Determines my fate

I lost five pounds

Only twenty more to go

I promise I'll stop then

But you don't think so

Do aerobics at 5:00am

Then at one and eight

Desperately trying to get rid of

This fat body that I hate

Breakfast I don't eat

Lunch a piece of bread

Dinner I'll feed the toilet monster

Tomorrow's meals I dread

I do not own this poem.*

Make me into a Pretty Zombie.

Ew, I took the SATs this morning, there was a good side to it though. I took some Adderal to make sure I was focused since I have ADD and etc. But yes, even though I was a complete zombie today, my appetite was gone! This is all I ate today:

Noon- Special K granola bar (90calories)

7:30PM- Weight Watchers wheat bread, 1 slice (40calories), Cottage cheese 2tbsp. (20 calories), Hot sauce (0calories)

Exercise: Elliptical 20minutes (-200calories)

Total: -50calories, :D

Whoop whooop, and I'm not even hungry! I'm going to start taking that medication more often haha, who needs personality when you can be thin? I'm going to be a pretty zombie (:

 

Let it Snow!

Yesterday I decided I was going to go back Ana. I hung out with some friends and all I ended up eating throughout the day was a 160cal parfait and tons of iced tea sweetened with Splenda (: Overall I think I did really well. Yesterday morning i weighed 141.8 and this morning I'm down to 136.6. I think it seems pretty low but I think I might be because I'm on my period so all the bloating is going away. Oh well as long as the number on the scale keeps decreasing I'm happy. 

It's been so cold in this town lately, today it even started snowing... in October! I was kind of bummed out because I don't really like the cold but hey, being cold burns calories and I've noticed that sometimes it even curves hunger? Ha so by all means... let it snow (:

Not a want but a need.

"YOU NEED TO BE PERFECT, YOU NEED TO BE THIN, YOU NEED TO BE PRETTY, YOU NEED TO SUCCEED"

Over and over I hear these taunting words. I toss and turn but I cannot sleep. This is so familiar. Its happened before. I'm beginning to sweat. I cannot breathe. I can feel my heart beat throughout my body. What is happening? What am I missing? What is the meaning behind this insomnia and unhappiness? Oh wait, could it be? No, never. I am living a healthy lifestyle. That comes with joy and bliss. Lies. I'm not happy, instead miserable. Not healthy, instead fat. There is no other explanation. I know what I am missing. The key component to perfection... Ana. Oh, how I've missed you. Please forgive me. Do not be angry with me. I promise to listen. This time will be different. I will obey you, do anything you please. But please make me thin...

20 Challenge!

In twenty days im going to the beach and im still 138.6 ): My goal weight by the time I go to the beach is 130.0. Oh goodness, I need to do this. I think im going to eat allot of soup during this time. Campbell has allot of low calorie soups so im planning on basically living off of that haha.

Tonight im going out to eat with my boyfriend. Were going to Olive Garden and im thinking about having the Minestrone soup because its only 100 calories. Yeap, i looked it up hahah. I did really good today so i dont want to ruin it ha. So today's day 20, 19 more days to go...

Three strikes &you're out

My eating lately hasnt been so good ): I cant stop eating but for some reason Ive only gained one pound :D I know thats not a good thing but hey, it could be a lot worse. I think its the walking, ever since my little chat with that guy last week Ive been walking everywhere and it seems to be paying off. Today I am going to stay home though and focus on getting myself on track. Im going to fast, no foods or liquids no exceptions.

I was soo bored at work the other night that I came up with this poem;

I want to be skinny with all my heart.

I want to be thin so there's no fat parts.

Diet soda and water with nothing to eat.

Because I'll surely stay fat if I indulge in a treat.

Hahaha, there was more to it but I didn't write it down and can only remember this part :P speaking of work, I  keep oversleeping and coming in late so I think I'm getting fired but I think that's just what I need, that place is filled with fattening food and its always so tempting. Ill be sure to find a new job with something that doesnt involve food or atleast food I like haha. Im off for a walk, goodbye lovies xoxo

'Oh, Just Walking'

The most inspirational thing happened to me yesterday afternoon. I was walking home from work and I bumped into this guy from school and he was sooo thin! I couldnt believe my eyes. I didn't recognize him at all. He looked like he'd been thin all his life. I asked him how he did it and he said...

       

     Superthin Guy: Oh, just walking

     Jealous & Amazed teen: No way, just walking?!

     Superthin Guy: Yeap hah, I pretty much just walk everywhere now

     Jealous & Amazed teen: Wow, that's great. You look really good

     Superthin Guy: Thanks, I almost have a six pack...

I know! I couldn't believe it either, I'm still in shock but i'm deffinately doing what he did. No more having my mom take me to school or to work, from now on I am doing things the old fashion way :D

W.Countdown: 20.8 (137.8lbs!)

stay strong and don't give up!

xoxo <3 !

Busy Bee

Argg ohkay, so I know I said I would weigh in like forever ago but I always oversleep and end up not having time to step on the scale. Tomorrow I dont work though so hopefully then I'll know if I lost those extra pounds I gained at the beach. When I got back i was 144.6, I know disgusting but I'm hoping I'm somewhere below 138 then I'll be on track again and can focus on losing more.

Yesterday I ate a chicken patty at around 11ish and then a tortilla chip at around 7. I wasnt trying to restrict, it just happend. Since i dont eat too often i get nauseous really easily and that makes me not want to eat which means more nauseaouseness! Its a vicious cycle but atleast ill lose weight :D

Double dose of no appetite (:

Whoooop whooop! So i went in for my medication check up for ADD and since the medication wasn't really working to well with keeping me focused my dose up increased to 54mg! Yesterday was my first day on it and it was amazing, I only ate because i had to (hanging out with friends, family breakfast, etc) because i wasn't hungry at all but even then, I had a total of about 400 calories (: Today, I ate a slice of toast with the pill and that's all i plan to eat the rest of the day

Yuck, yesterday I went to an orthodontist appointment and since i don't wear my clear retainers my teeth have shifted and now I have to wear those ugly metal retainers to move them back in place ): They were so painful but today the pain isnt so bad, thank god. I sound like the black duck off of Looney Tunes but i just realized that wearing this thing will keep me away from eating without thinking since i have to take them out to eat :D Im suppose to get used to them though so the weird taking should go away, hopefully before school! haha

This morning I made a shopping list for stuff ill need for school. I know school is far from now but still, im going to the beach with my parents in August so i need to save up money for that and school clothes as well. this year im going to dress casual and comfy. Skinny jeans, a tee shirt, and some vans. Yeap, thats it haha well occasionally i might throw in an oversized cardigan and swap vans with toms hahah

W. Countdown: tomorrow is weigh in day

stay strong and focus on the important things in life

xoxo <3!

Back from the Beach!

Hello beautiful ladies! I am back from the beach and let me tell you, I am more pumped than ever to lose weight. I looked amazing it felt so good to have guys notice me for something other than my personality. Another thing that was absolutely amazing, is that I was the thinnest one in the group (: I didn't have double D-sized boobs like my friends but hey, i looked pretty darn good in my bikinis haha

The only bad side to looking good is that i forgot that i had to maintain that weight off, during the trip i didnt notice any difference but now that I'm home, oh yesss i deffinately see the extra pounds creeping up on me again. Tomorrow I'm going to start restricting again, hmm i don't know I'm thinking about starting the ABC Diet, anyone want to join? (:

FIFTEEN FOLLOWERS! :D I currently have 15 of you wonderful beauties following my blog and i just want to let you guys know that if you ever need a little motivation or just feel like talking about thats taunting number on the scale, don't hesitate to contact me!

W.Countdown: ----

stay strong & remember what truly matters

xoxo <3!

Anything's worth being THIN

Sorry I've been gone for a while, I've been working so much lately I barely have any me-time anymore. Tomorrow is the big day, I am going to the beach (:

The most amazing thing happened to me today. My friend introduced me to her friend who is also ana and mia! i cant believe it, a girl in my town that shares my interest. I'm so siked, well i was until my friend started saying its all in my head and that I'm just doing that because i wanna be like her. Hmm i guess i shouldn't have told the girl in front of her since my friend didn't know about my 'special' ways. Eh oh well, i just hope i can stay in touch with the girl. I think I'm gonna send her a link to my blog so she sees I'm not bluffing. I'm kind of bummed that my friend feels that way though, i don't know i mean maybe she just feels left out since i have so much in common with this new girl. She worries about her weight allot like we do so maybe she should consider taking up ana, I doubt it though because she doesn't see the big picture: Anything's worth being THIN.

W.Countdown: ---

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Yes Mother

Blahh yesterday i was doing so well. I got home from work at around 10pm and had only eaten about 270calories. My parents had ordered Chinese food and got my favorite. I cant stand when they buy me food without asking if i even want anything because if i don't eat it i'm considered "ungrateful." Story of my life.

I was so scared to get on the scale this morning. I was sure it would be 141 or higher but surprisingly it was 138.0. So now im back to where i was two days ago... great. Today im hoping to make up for that. Im planning on eating 150calories or less and hopefully weighing in at around 137.2 tomorrow morning. Tonight i work though so that might be a challenge, but hey last night i did pretty hopefully tonight goes the same... fingers crossed!

W.Countdown: 21.0

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Back in the thirties. (:

Ive beeen so busy lately with summer assignments for AP classes ill be taking next year and thinking about college and junk. I know ill only be a junior in high school this year but its better to do things early than late. Ive already made a list of the top twenty colleges i want to apply to! (:

All this focusing on academics has really helped with my eating habits. I ate about 200calories tuesday, and about 500calories yesterday and the best part is that im never hungry! today i weighed in a 137.8. I tried my swim suit from last year on today and it actually looks good, not how i want it to look but it is decent. It feeels soo good to be back in the 130s :D

I was hanging out with some friends yesterday and we stopped at a convienient store to grab a bite to eat and i got a diet snapple and an apple! It wasnt even like i made myself either, thats just what looked good to me which is soo strange because i love thier fries and shakes ha. My friends thought it was weird so i told them im a vegetarian and they didnt question me anymore, mann i love that excuse! Haha

W.Countdown: 20.8

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Summer Cold.

I slept all day yesterday because of this random cold. It was so weird, it came out of no where and today im perfectly fine. i guess my immune system is on overdrive haha. I plan to restrict today, hmm my limits is 325calories. Ahh beach in like two weeks!

W. Countdown: 24.4

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Whatever It Takes

Yep so last night i decided to go on a 72hour fast and it didnt go so well. I was so stressed with school and guys and all that and i ended up binging. I couldnt stand the feeling of fullness, i felt like i was going to blow up to the size of a blimp so i drank two glasses of water, shoved my fingers down my throat and viola! It was weird, after i purged i wasnt worried about all the stuff from earlier and it felt amazing. I was still concerned about my weight though so i drank another laxative tea. I know the side effects of mia are really dangerous but eh right now i couldnt care less, if im thin then ill be happy and thats all that matters. Today im going to try fasting though, i also want to drink tons of water since im probabaly dehydrated from the laxatives and purging.

I found this quote the other day and i love it: Coffee and smokes and cold diet cokes, thats what pretty girls are made of.

W.Countdown: 24.6

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Absolutely Disgusting.

I haven't weighed myself in quite sometime and but it deffinately seems like i look slimmer and today when i got on the scale it read 142.2! I cant believe it! i was sure that i wouldn't be in the 140s. I'm so disappointed with myself. I haven't eaten all day and i don't plan to until Saturday afternoon. Im still in shock, how can i be this high?! After i got home from school i drank two of those laxative teas i talked about before. Im still not feeling anything so i think im going to have another one later on in the evening. I know its going to cause major cramps but if itll get me down to the 130s then im absolutely fine with that. Saturday afternoon i plan on eating a something under 300calories and then having non-caloric drinks after that. I need ana in my life!

W.Countdown: 25.2

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Carlie Carlson Constantly Counts Calories.

Ew its raining. I don't feel like doing much today. Last night i was on YouTube and i came across ED documentaries and they're actually pretty good. I watched two last night and they were each about two hours long and during that time i didn't eat so im going to do that today since im spending the day at home. After my Psychology final i was kinda bored so i started doodling and i then decided to make a food schedule. It looks something like this:

Noon

-40calorie slice of bread

-10calories worth of cottage cheese

-24oz. of water

Lunch

-15calorie tortilla thing

-20calories worth of guacamole

-24oz. water

Dinner

-FiberOne 90calorie bar

-laxative tea

-16oz. of water

Since tomorrow and Thursday i also have finals, i think im going to use this food schedule then as well but i think im might move things around so i dont get bored with it. Drinking so much water should also help me hydrate for cross country. I cant wait for that! (:

W.Countdown: ---

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

EggRolls.

Eeeek! My friend introduced me to her friend and hes soo cute. He's Asian (: haha. He's really nice and i think he might like me. We were at the park today and i saw him playing basketball...without his shirt on and he has such a nice body. It kinda gets me thinking, if we do start talking and like eventually go out or something then i don't want to be fat and gross-looking. I want him to be proud to introduce me to his friends and say "yeah, the tall pretty one is my girlfriend." im so glad cross country practice starts next week though because i really don't want to stay home and eat this summer and plus will im running ill be burning calories. We have finals all this week and im trying to stay away from food because stress always seems to lead me back to it. I found that if i listen to music and chew gum while i study i barely think about food, you guys should try it sometime! (:

W.Countdown: ---

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

P.S look at my new thinspo, i love it. I edited it myself, just seeing it makes me not as hungry!

Yep, that's high school for ya.

Ahhh! im going to go insane. School is soo frustrating! Girls are so catty and immature. For goodness' sake, school will be over in a couple of days, these are the weeks were suppose to enjoy because after summer vacation we wont get to see each other as easily. Sometimes i wonder how people can be so mean, does it like make people feel better to insult others? Oh whatever, im just going to block everyone out and try to make some more good memories (:

W.Countdown: 22.8

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

WeightLoss Countdown

This morning i weighed in at 140.2pounds. In the last couple of weeks the lowest Ive weighed is about 137pounds. Every time i make progress it never lasts long because the number on the scale is always higher the next morning. My goal weight at this point is 117pounds which means i have to lose 23pounds in order to get down there. I was doing crunches the other day and i noticed that if i start at fifty and count my way down the closer i get to zero the more motivated i become so from now on my ill refer to my weight as how many pounds i have to lose until i reach my goal. For example, if i weigh 127pounds then my number for that day would be 10. Ten, wow i cant wait to get there its sooo close to zero.

Yesterday was my first day on Concerta and it was amazing, i had no appetite at all throughout the day but at around like 11pm i had the munchies. I ate a couple of crackers and Hershey kisses ): so from now on i am going to bed before 10pm so I'm asleep once the meds wear off. I'm also going to go to the library for lunch and study for finals instead of being in the cafeteria because i think my friends are starting to question my excuses for not eating. Well i really don't find the food appealing but still, this way i don't have to make up any more lies. Sometimes i wish they would just understand because i hate having to lie to them but I'm willing to do anything to fit into size zero skinnies again.

W.Coundown: 23.2

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Update

Ten Followers! Thank you prettties (: I initially wrote this as a way to vent my frustration with weight loss since no one gets my obsession but im glad other people read it, I hope my posts inspire you guys to lose weight and stay motivated! Muahhh <333

My weight loss methods the last couple of days have been all over the map.

I tried this laxative type tea called 3 Ballerina Diet Tea or something like that. Yeah talk about major cramps of death. It made me go to the bathroom and stuff but not as much as regular laxative pills do and the pain just seemed unbearable. The taste was something else i didnt like but if it actually did get me results i liked i would've kept using it. I dont know, i guess i would use it if im constipated but not like as my main source of weight loss because i could not handle that pain 7days a week ha

Next came Ex-Lax chocolates. Those were the most pleasant ones! They tasted pretty much like regular chocolate and i had no cramps at all but i didnt like that the chocolates were about the size of a penny so i kepted wanting to eat more. The main issue with this method is that i didnt even go to the bathroom after taking it  so there was no point in continuing.

My latest weight loss method is ADD medication. I was diagnosed with ADD and put on Concerta 27 mg. I started taking it today and i noticed that i barely thought about food. The only reason i ate lunch was because its a period on my school schedule but if it wasnt for that i wouldnt have remembered to eat. I googled the side effects that come with the prescription and it turns out that one of them is loss of appetite! If i wouldve known that i wouldve agreed to talking meds for my ADD years ago haha. I wonder if the effects change after my body gets used to the medicine. I sure hope not! ha

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Oh and im aware that laxatives arent a form of 'healthy' weight loss but i really dont care at this point. I just want to be skinny already!

HourGlasss

Ever since i was little girl, ive always thought i would grow up to have a small waist and big hips like my mother but i started puberty in fourth grade but my body is still shaped like a ruler. Its soo frustrating, theres so many girls at school with and hourglass figures and not just "thick" girls but even anorexic-looking girls as well. I was browsing the web yesterday and i came across these butt enhancing pills called BBB pills. They claim to take the fat from your stomach and transfer it to your butt and hips. I really want to try them but a one-month supply costs 100dollars and im not willing to spend that money without being certain that ill see some results. I was at the gym today though and instead of doing cardio the whole time, i decided to do some strength training instead. I was walking around the gym and i noticed these two machines. The hip adduction and the hip abduction. Im not really sure what the purpose is for them but im guessing that if i use those machines on a regular basis my hips will become shapely and firm. Well i hope so because thats what happened with my legs haha. Im so obsessed with my appearance but i chose to see this as a good thing because maybe one day ill finally look how i want... like Megan Foxx (:

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Muscleheadd.

Ive been think about working out and going to the gym so much lately, i feel like im addicted to it! Ive gone to the gym for three hours the last two days. Ive also been restricting but for some reason i dont seem to be loosing any weight ): My friend thinks its because im gaining muscle but i dont know because while im at the gym i spend most of my time on the elliptical or treadmill. Ughh i dont like this. I mean i feel a whole lot lighter but the number on the scale isnt going down and it frustrates me sooo much. I just hope i look thin on Memorial Day... but yeah i think im gonna go to the gym now, goodbye pretties (:

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Domino Effect

I was doing so well and last night i binged ): I was soo mad at myself i mean all that hard work i put into losing weight was just shot back a couple of days. I gained two pounds. I know, unacceptable so today during lunch i drank a bottle of water. I was hungry afterwards so i ended up drinking another one. Im proud of myself for that move. After school i went to McDonalds and had..... a side salad! After that, i went to the gym and got a membership. I was on the elliptical for 20minutes and then i did a zumba class. When i got home i thought i would binge but i had..... Special K cereal! i cant believe it, its like the guilt from binging last night motivated me to make all these really good choices throughout today. Tomorrow im going to the gym again, my friend wants to lose weight so i think itll be easier to keep going since ill have someone else to do it with me. Ahh i cant want to see some results but now i have to buy some sport bras hahah

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Ana Bracelet?

Hey girls! i was wondering if any of you wear an ana bracelet? Im actually thinking about making one out of embroidery floss so maybe someone at school will recognize it and maybe i can find someone with ana who actually lives in my town haha. But yeah if you do wear one, what does it look like? and on which wrist do you wear it? Ahh so many questions hahah.

 Anyways, it is now almost 6:55pm and i still havent given in! After school I even played frisbee and walked a bit (: i hope i can keep this up though. Im trying to keep busy so at seven im meeting my friend and were going to this youth group thing at our church. My diet consisted of:

   Lunch

      Nutri-Grain Bar-139cals

      Crystal Light- 12.5cals

      Bottled Water-0 cals

  Snacks

     Granola Bar- 90cals

     Pineapple Chunks- 60cals

Im thinking about maybe some crackers(60calories) and diet soda(0calories) for dinner so that should add up to about 360calories. Im finally on track, i hope you ladies are doing well too (:

stay strong & remember what really matters

xoxo <3!

Strange Stufff.

I was browsing the web yesterday and i stumbled across the oddest thing, the cotton ball diet. I think its so strange i mean i know some people are desperate for weight loss but why would anyone try that? Is cotton even edible? Hmm i wonder these things...

I need a new scale, i weighed in today and i got every number from 139.2 to 136.6, its so stressful i really wanna know the exact number. This is my third scale since new years, does anyone know good scales out there? Right now im so fed up with crappy scales that price isnt even an issue. i just want to find the one! hahah it sounds like im in a sappy romance looking for the right guy lmao

Since my scale didnt show a number in the forties i am going to assume that im not gaining weight. Im planning on buying a new scale tomorrow. I have big plans for this week, whatever it is i actually weigh minus 4pounds. so if i weigh 139 i want to be 135 by friday. 135 is not bad i havent been at that weight for a while and plus now i do strength training so i have muscle, yaaay i can leg press 230pounds. i think i want to start doing ab workouts so my stomach becomes tighter... i think ill start now! haha

                                                                 stay strong & remember what really matters 

xoxo <3!

Still no signs of weakness

I didnt go to school today and i was terrified because normally when i stay home i end up eating about 4000calories but for some reason today was different (: i ate a total of 475calories, not bad considering i even went to McDonalds. Of course i didnt get a burger or anything, i got a fruit&walnut salad (210calories). If you really think about it, fast food places actually have healthy choices like salads and grilled chicken sandwiches. Calories start to add up once condiments and sauces are added to whatever it is your eating. At McDonalds i usually get a side salad(20calories) with vinaigrette dressing (60calories). Its not as good as french or italian but the calories difference is pretty big so i think its deffinately worth it.

I was kinda upset at myself for not going to school because i was suppose to go to a zumba class with my friend afterschool :P Oh well im just glad i didnt overeat. I weighed 139.6 this morning (: whoop whoop, there are 17more days until the pool party and im already soo close to 135.0. If things keep doing this well i think im going to decrease my goal weight to 130.0 (:

Sweat marks

So far today is going pretty well, ive eaten about 100calories and i just finished running three miles. (: im going to join the cross country team and i need to get in shape which to me is just an excuse to burn calories haha. Im pretty hungry right now though so when i get home ill probabaly have some crackers and water with maybe some crystal light or i dont know watermelon sounds pretty good too haha.
This morning i weighed in at 141.4, yesterday morning i was 144.6 so im making some progress! I was soo tempted to buy a slice of pizza today at lunch but nope instead i had a nature valley granola bar thing, theres no way im letting food get in the way of my perfect beach bod haha. I kept looking at my ana bracelet whic i finished yesterday by the way, it definately helped me stay on track! i think if you girls need a little something as a reminder, an ana bracelet is for sure something that'll work :D

this is actually from yesterday but for some reason Blogger wasnt working

The pressure is on

Oh dear, im such a failure! Ive completely lost touch with ana ): I havent gained weight or anything but i havent been losing any either. Right now im somewhere around 141ish, i need to change that like asap! On Memorial Day im going to a pool party and  theres no way im wearing a one piece. Lets see... today is the 10th which means i have 20days to lose weight. My goal is to lose ten pounds. Thats pretty reachable but i just need to stay focused. Im going to workout atleast four times a week, cut back on eating out with friends, and limit myself to a maximum of 500calories per day. I can do this... i hope

No more rollercoaster ride

Ahh so so far ive been in this weird pattern where i gain two pounds and lose three. Its so annoying but atleast im slowly making progress. Work is killing me though, working around food all day is so tempting but i have to be strong if being thin is something i really want to achieve. Today i will eat about 320calories. And tomorrow as well so i dont gain two pounds again haha so far my lowest has been 138.8 i believe and that was yesterday. i hope tomorrow im back in that region. Ohh emm gee yesterday i read this thing were a guys lost 27 pounds eating nothing but twinkies because he'd consume only about half of his daily recommended caloric intake or whatever. Which i guess means that you can eat junk as long as you dont eat too many calories, sweeeet!

So far, so good!

Yesterday i ate quite a bit, i didnt binge but i ate some rather unhealthy food. I gained point two pounds, i dont think thats really that bad but i need to get back on track.

Today i didnt go to school because i overslept and so far ive only eaten 160calories! Im planning on eating about 120 more and calling it a day. Im also hoping that that'll get me into the high 130's. I couldnt make it through today without some thinspo. Ive been watching mainly real girl thinspo on youtube and also beach thinspo. ITS AMAZING! Seriously girls, if you feel a binge coming on thats definately a great way to keep you away from food(:

Stay strong ladies, xoxo <3

My focus needs more focus

Oh my goodness i havent blogged in ages! ive been living in binge city ever sice my last post and yesterday i weighed 145.2! I restricted a bit yesterday and so now im 144.0, i think thats pretty good for one day especially since i didnt really try too hard. I feel so big, i know thats a bad thing but im kinda glad because i hate feeling like this and that will deffinately drive me away from food.
Ive had about 200 calories today but i also walked for an hour with my dog. I noticed that i havent been going to the bathroom that often so im taking those benefiber chewable things, those babies are 30 calories a pop but on the brightside they curb my appetite pretty well. Gaaah i wanna be in the twenties already!

Bloggidy, Blog Blog

Yeapp so last night i ate chinese food and surprisingly i only gained .4pounds which means im 140.0pounds. Im not really mad i mean i thought i would gain more than that but im still planning to restrict today and tomorrow. Today i will eat about 400calories and tomorrow in thinking like 200 or so(: ahh mann, i havent posted any new thinspo in forever! I think ill do that when i get on my computer. I love this Blogger app, gooo Android!

Whooop whooop, back in the thirties (:

Yaaay so yesterday i only ate 360calories and i lost about two pounds! I cant wait till summer haha i wanna lose about twenty more pounds. Today i went to a chinese place and ended up eating like ten thousand calories): tomorrow and sunday i will be restricting though. Im guessing like a max of 200calories! That should get me down to 137pounds im hoping (:

Ouchh !

SCRATCH.... SCRATCH..... OUCHH !

Yeapp, i accidently ripped out my left hip microdermal ): it took me forever to find the jewelry but i managed to before the whole closed and i put it back in. It hurt sooo badd but i really didnt wanna have only one piercing bahaha. But yeah im hoping for the best now, like sp it doesnt get infected or anything but i have to admit, im so scared! Aaaaah!

Besides that near hear-attack experience ahha today i didnt pretty good on my restricting. Heres what i had:

(3) slice of toast with cottage cheese.  
(1) propel water stuff
(1) Diet cherry coke
(1) single poptart

It comes out to like 410calories but i was on the elliptical in gym class and burned 50calories so it was a total of 360calories! I wanna eat the same thing tomorrow but like minus the poptart because theres 200calories in a single one! Cant wait to start shedding pounds (:

speechless

Lucy: gosh, why are you so mean ?

Co-worker: because youre a minority and youre ugly

Yeapp this actually happend today. I cant believe people can be this mean especially to me i mean im like the nicest person ever "/ but on the brightside i did manage to lose 2.2pounds. Im not even excited after what happend at work today, whatever im gonna go stuff my face now

food is evil

ughh , so yesterday i didn't go to school and i stayed home and ended up eating everything ! ): it was like i was a zombie and couldn't stop. I felt awful afterwards. im gonna try to remember that feeling next time i want to binge. the only good thing that came out of yesterday is that i went out and bought enough diet soda and vitamin water to last me until September haha. Im planning on doing a liquid fast today and probably tomorrow as well.

but yeah this morning when i got on my blog i noticed i had three followers ! thanks so much girls (((: 

whoop whoop ! today was turkey dinner day and you know who didnt have any of it ? this girl right here haha im so proud of myself because thats one of my biggest weaknesses. This morning i had a doctors appointment and it turns out i gained 2pounds ): i am now 139, fml! hopefully this liquid fast takes off at least three pounds. Tonights my friends surprise birthday party but it seems so risky because theres gonna be plenty of food but then again it is her birthday so i dont want to bail on her. uhmm, i guess i can go and stay for like an hour or so. ohh dear im gonna have to stock up mints so i dont eat anything else ha but heres some motivation for you prettty ladies. always remember to stay strong <3333

Fasting is the way to goo ! (:

I fasted all day yesterday and even found an ana buddy, woot woot ! Today i plan on fasting again which i think will be a piece of cake, yumm that sounds so good but not for me because saying no to fatty foods is like saying yes to becoming thin haha i love that quote (: but yeapp im doing pretty well. This morning i weighed in at 137.8 ! Yess, im out of the forties now i just hope i make it past the mid-30s because that always seems like mt everest lmao. Ohh well i will overcome this mountain, wish me luck !


but now heres some thinspo , enjoy !

why, hello there !

Elllo, my name is Lucy.

Spring is finally here, which means it'll soon be time to bring out the short shorts and bikinis or in other words, its time for some serious weight loss ! As of today i am a shocking 143pounds. The lowest i can weigh and still have a BMI of 18.1 is 117pounds. Thats my ultimate goal. Tomorrow i will start a 3day fast, if anyone wants to as well dont be afraid to contact me, especially since im currently looking for an ana buddy (: Hmm, blogging seems to take my mind off of food so im guessing ill probably be adding new posts on a daily basis haha