Saturday, November 19, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
"YOU NEED TO BE PERFECT, YOU NEED TO BE THIN, YOU NEED TO BE PRETTY, YOU NEED TO SUCCEED"
Over and over I hear these taunting words. I toss and turn but I cannot sleep. This is so familiar. Its happened before. I'm beginning to sweat. I cannot breathe. I can feel my heart beat throughout my body. What is happening? What am I missing? What is the meaning behind this insomnia and unhappiness? Oh wait, could it be? No, never. I am living a healthy lifestyle. That comes with joy and bliss. Lies. I'm not happy, instead miserable. Not healthy, instead fat. There is no other explanation. I know what I am missing. The key component to perfection... Ana. Oh, how I've missed you. Please forgive me. Do not be angry with me. I promise to listen. This time will be different. I will obey you, do anything you please. But please make me thin...
Sunday, July 24, 2011
In twenty days im going to the beach and im still 138.6 ): My goal weight by the time I go to the beach is 130.0. Oh goodness, I need to do this. I think im going to eat allot of soup during this time. Campbell has allot of low calorie soups so im planning on basically living off of that haha.
Tonight im going out to eat with my boyfriend. Were going to Olive Garden and im thinking about having the Minestrone soup because its only 100 calories. Yeap, i looked it up hahah. I did really good today so i dont want to ruin it ha. So today's day 20, 19 more days to go...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I was soo bored at work the other night that I came up with this poem;
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Argg ohkay, so I know I said I would weigh in like forever ago but I always oversleep and end up not having time to step on the scale. Tomorrow I dont work though so hopefully then I'll know if I lost those extra pounds I gained at the beach. When I got back i was 144.6, I know disgusting but I'm hoping I'm somewhere below 138 then I'll be on track again and can focus on losing more.
Yesterday I ate a chicken patty at around 11ish and then a tortilla chip at around 7. I wasnt trying to restrict, it just happend. Since i dont eat too often i get nauseous really easily and that makes me not want to eat which means more nauseaouseness! Its a vicious cycle but atleast ill lose weight :D
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Yuck, yesterday I went to an orthodontist appointment and since i don't wear my clear retainers my teeth have shifted and now I have to wear those ugly metal retainers to move them back in place ): They were so painful but today the pain isnt so bad, thank god. I sound like the black duck off of Looney Tunes but i just realized that wearing this thing will keep me away from eating without thinking since i have to take them out to eat :D Im suppose to get used to them though so the weird taking should go away, hopefully before school! haha
This morning I made a shopping list for stuff ill need for school. I know school is far from now but still, im going to the beach with my parents in August so i need to save up money for that and school clothes as well. this year im going to dress casual and comfy. Skinny jeans, a tee shirt, and some vans. Yeap, thats it haha well occasionally i might throw in an oversized cardigan and swap vans with toms hahah
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The only bad side to looking good is that i forgot that i had to maintain that weight off, during the trip i didnt notice any difference but now that I'm home, oh yesss i deffinately see the extra pounds creeping up on me again. Tomorrow I'm going to start restricting again, hmm i don't know I'm thinking about starting the ABC Diet, anyone want to join? (:
FIFTEEN FOLLOWERS! :D I currently have 15 of you wonderful beauties following my blog and i just want to let you guys know that if you ever need a little motivation or just feel like talking about thats taunting number on the scale, don't hesitate to contact me!
Monday, June 27, 2011
The most amazing thing happened to me today. My friend introduced me to her friend who is also ana and mia! i cant believe it, a girl in my town that shares my interest. I'm so siked, well i was until my friend started saying its all in my head and that I'm just doing that because i wanna be like her. Hmm i guess i shouldn't have told the girl in front of her since my friend didn't know about my 'special' ways. Eh oh well, i just hope i can stay in touch with the girl. I think I'm gonna send her a link to my blog so she sees I'm not bluffing. I'm kind of bummed that my friend feels that way though, i don't know i mean maybe she just feels left out since i have so much in common with this new girl. She worries about her weight allot like we do so maybe she should consider taking up ana, I doubt it though because she doesn't see the big picture: Anything's worth being THIN.
Friday, June 17, 2011
I was so scared to get on the scale this morning. I was sure it would be 141 or higher but surprisingly it was 138.0. So now im back to where i was two days ago... great. Today im hoping to make up for that. Im planning on eating 150calories or less and hopefully weighing in at around 137.2 tomorrow morning. Tonight i work though so that might be a challenge, but hey last night i did pretty hopefully tonight goes the same... fingers crossed!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
All this focusing on academics has really helped with my eating habits. I ate about 200calories tuesday, and about 500calories yesterday and the best part is that im never hungry! today i weighed in a 137.8. I tried my swim suit from last year on today and it actually looks good, not how i want it to look but it is decent. It feeels soo good to be back in the 130s :D
I was hanging out with some friends yesterday and we stopped at a convienient store to grab a bite to eat and i got a diet snapple and an apple! It wasnt even like i made myself either, thats just what looked good to me which is soo strange because i love thier fries and shakes ha. My friends thought it was weird so i told them im a vegetarian and they didnt question me anymore, mann i love that excuse! Haha
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
I found this quote the other day and i love it: Coffee and smokes and cold diet cokes, thats what pretty girls are made of.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
stay strong & remember what really matters
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
My weight loss methods the last couple of days have been all over the map.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Anyways, it is now almost 6:55pm and i still havent given in! After school I even played frisbee and walked a bit (: i hope i can keep this up though. Im trying to keep busy so at seven im meeting my friend and were going to this youth group thing at our church. My diet consisted of:
I need a new scale, i weighed in today and i got every number from 139.2 to 136.6, its so stressful i really wanna know the exact number. This is my third scale since new years, does anyone know good scales out there? Right now im so fed up with crappy scales that price isnt even an issue. i just want to find the one! hahah it sounds like im in a sappy romance looking for the right guy lmao
Since my scale didnt show a number in the forties i am going to assume that im not gaining weight. Im planning on buying a new scale tomorrow. I have big plans for this week, whatever it is i actually weigh minus 4pounds. so if i weigh 139 i want to be 135 by friday. 135 is not bad i havent been at that weight for a while and plus now i do strength training so i have muscle, yaaay i can leg press 230pounds. i think i want to start doing ab workouts so my stomach becomes tighter... i think ill start now! haha
Friday, May 13, 2011
I was kinda upset at myself for not going to school because i was suppose to go to a zumba class with my friend afterschool :P Oh well im just glad i didnt overeat. I weighed 139.6 this morning (: whoop whoop, there are 17more days until the pool party and im already soo close to 135.0. If things keep doing this well i think im going to decrease my goal weight to 130.0 (:
This morning i weighed in at 141.4, yesterday morning i was 144.6 so im making some progress! I was soo tempted to buy a slice of pizza today at lunch but nope instead i had a nature valley granola bar thing, theres no way im letting food get in the way of my perfect beach bod haha. I kept looking at my ana bracelet whic i finished yesterday by the way, it definately helped me stay on track! i think if you girls need a little something as a reminder, an ana bracelet is for sure something that'll work :D
this is actually from yesterday but for some reason Blogger wasnt working
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Ahh so so far ive been in this weird pattern where i gain two pounds and lose three. Its so annoying but atleast im slowly making progress. Work is killing me though, working around food all day is so tempting but i have to be strong if being thin is something i really want to achieve. Today i will eat about 320calories. And tomorrow as well so i dont gain two pounds again haha so far my lowest has been 138.8 i believe and that was yesterday. i hope tomorrow im back in that region. Ohh emm gee yesterday i read this thing were a guys lost 27 pounds eating nothing but twinkies because he'd consume only about half of his daily recommended caloric intake or whatever. Which i guess means that you can eat junk as long as you dont eat too many calories, sweeeet!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Yesterday i ate quite a bit, i didnt binge but i ate some rather unhealthy food. I gained point two pounds, i dont think thats really that bad but i need to get back on track.
Today i didnt go to school because i overslept and so far ive only eaten 160calories! Im planning on eating about 120 more and calling it a day. Im also hoping that that'll get me into the high 130's. I couldnt make it through today without some thinspo. Ive been watching mainly real girl thinspo on youtube and also beach thinspo. ITS AMAZING! Seriously girls, if you feel a binge coming on thats definately a great way to keep you away from food(:
Stay strong ladies, xoxo <3
Monday, April 11, 2011
Ive had about 200 calories today but i also walked for an hour with my dog. I noticed that i havent been going to the bathroom that often so im taking those benefiber chewable things, those babies are 30 calories a pop but on the brightside they curb my appetite pretty well. Gaaah i wanna be in the twenties already!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Yeapp so last night i ate chinese food and surprisingly i only gained .4pounds which means im 140.0pounds. Im not really mad i mean i thought i would gain more than that but im still planning to restrict today and tomorrow. Today i will eat about 400calories and tomorrow in thinking like 200 or so(: ahh mann, i havent posted any new thinspo in forever! I think ill do that when i get on my computer. I love this Blogger app, gooo Android!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Yaaay so yesterday i only ate 360calories and i lost about two pounds! I cant wait till summer haha i wanna lose about twenty more pounds. Today i went to a chinese place and ended up eating like ten thousand calories): tomorrow and sunday i will be restricting though. Im guessing like a max of 200calories! That should get me down to 137pounds im hoping (:
Thursday, March 31, 2011
SCRATCH.... SCRATCH..... OUCHH !
Yeapp, i accidently ripped out my left hip microdermal ): it took me forever to find the jewelry but i managed to before the whole closed and i put it back in. It hurt sooo badd but i really didnt wanna have only one piercing bahaha. But yeah im hoping for the best now, like sp it doesnt get infected or anything but i have to admit, im so scared! Aaaaah!
Besides that near hear-attack experience ahha today i didnt pretty good on my restricting. Heres what i had:
(3) slice of toast with cottage cheese.
(1) propel water stuff
(1) Diet cherry coke
(1) single poptart
It comes out to like 410calories but i was on the elliptical in gym class and burned 50calories so it was a total of 360calories! I wanna eat the same thing tomorrow but like minus the poptart because theres 200calories in a single one! Cant wait to start shedding pounds (:
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Lucy: gosh, why are you so mean ?
Co-worker: because youre a minority and youre ugly
Yeapp this actually happend today. I cant believe people can be this mean especially to me i mean im like the nicest person ever "/ but on the brightside i did manage to lose 2.2pounds. Im not even excited after what happend at work today, whatever im gonna go stuff my face now
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
but now heres some thinspo , enjoy !
Monday, March 21, 2011
Spring is finally here, which means it'll soon be time to bring out the short shorts and bikinis or in other words, its time for some serious weight loss ! As of today i am a shocking 143pounds. The lowest i can weigh and still have a BMI of 18.1 is 117pounds. Thats my ultimate goal. Tomorrow i will start a 3day fast, if anyone wants to as well dont be afraid to contact me, especially since im currently looking for an ana buddy (: Hmm, blogging seems to take my mind off of food so im guessing ill probably be adding new posts on a daily basis haha