Tuesday, June 24, 2014


I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my own life. It frustrates me so much but at the same time I feel so depressed.  I know how to get my mind off it though. I need to be become perfect again. I need to be beautiful. I need to be that girl is envied by all her friends. The one guys drool over. The one whose parents are so proud of..

I started a challenge today. Fifteen days. I'm hoping to lose 15 pounds. I will eat the same menu everyday (356 calories) and i also have a workout regime lined up. This is it. I've been so close for months and it seems like I stopped right before meeting my goal. I've gained about 5 pounds since then.. mehh. ONE FIFTEEN HERE I COME!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Pause. Think. Don't Eat. Repeat.

ive lost about 20lbs and im so close to my goal but im not quite there. i want to eat the world right now, not because im hungry but because i know it will taste good. Im already used to the constant light headed feeling and the hunger pangs. im in this awkward stage where yeah i look good but not good enough. I keep asking myself if this is really what i want. Being fat cant be so bad right? WRONG, i love the feeling i get when i hear the fatties at work say they're going on a diet. Yess darling, you need to cut back a few 3000 calories daily. but what about me? im already skinny... just not skinny enough. Right now i eat one meal and one snack a day, max. Will being skinny really taste better than the fried chicken my dad just made? Of course it will. I dont want to be average or ordinary. I want to stand out, I want to walk in shorts and a tank top and make every guy do a double take. i want to be the cause of every girls envy. I was blessed with a pretty face and awesome personality, its only right that i achieve a hot bod to go with it. I guess im not really stuck anymore... i just needed to think about it. Next time i want macaroni and cheese, or chocolate, or a milkshake i will stop and think, and you should too. Reaching my our goals will be worth it.

Stay Strong Lovelies,