Friday, May 27, 2011

WeightLoss Countdown

This morning i weighed in at 140.2pounds. In the last couple of weeks the lowest Ive weighed is about 137pounds. Every time i make progress it never lasts long because the number on the scale is always higher the next morning. My goal weight at this point is 117pounds which means i have to lose 23pounds in order to get down there. I was doing crunches the other day and i noticed that if i start at fifty and count my way down the closer i get to zero the more motivated i become so from now on my ill refer to my weight as how many pounds i have to lose until i reach my goal. For example, if i weigh 127pounds then my number for that day would be 10. Ten, wow i cant wait to get there its sooo close to zero.

Yesterday was my first day on Concerta and it was amazing, i had no appetite at all throughout the day but at around like 11pm i had the munchies. I ate a couple of crackers and Hershey kisses ): so from now on i am going to bed before 10pm so I'm asleep once the meds wear off. I'm also going to go to the library for lunch and study for finals instead of being in the cafeteria because i think my friends are starting to question my excuses for not eating. Well i really don't find the food appealing but still, this way i don't have to make up any more lies. Sometimes i wish they would just understand because i hate having to lie to them but I'm willing to do anything to fit into size zero skinnies again.

W.Coundown: 23.2

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Ten Followers! Thank you prettties (: I initially wrote this as a way to vent my frustration with weight loss since no one gets my obsession but im glad other people read it, I hope my posts inspire you guys to lose weight and stay motivated! Muahhh <333

My weight loss methods the last couple of days have been all over the map.

I tried this laxative type tea called 3 Ballerina Diet Tea or something like that. Yeah talk about major cramps of death. It made me go to the bathroom and stuff but not as much as regular laxative pills do and the pain just seemed unbearable. The taste was something else i didnt like but if it actually did get me results i liked i would've kept using it. I dont know, i guess i would use it if im constipated but not like as my main source of weight loss because i could not handle that pain 7days a week ha

Next came Ex-Lax chocolates. Those were the most pleasant ones! They tasted pretty much like regular chocolate and i had no cramps at all but i didnt like that the chocolates were about the size of a penny so i kepted wanting to eat more. The main issue with this method is that i didnt even go to the bathroom after taking it  so there was no point in continuing.

My latest weight loss method is ADD medication. I was diagnosed with ADD and put on Concerta 27 mg. I started taking it today and i noticed that i barely thought about food. The only reason i ate lunch was because its a period on my school schedule but if it wasnt for that i wouldnt have remembered to eat. I googled the side effects that come with the prescription and it turns out that one of them is loss of appetite! If i wouldve known that i wouldve agreed to talking meds for my ADD years ago haha. I wonder if the effects change after my body gets used to the medicine. I sure hope not! ha

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Oh and im aware that laxatives arent a form of 'healthy' weight loss but i really dont care at this point. I just want to be skinny already!

Sunday, May 22, 2011


Ever since i was little girl, ive always thought i would grow up to have a small waist and big hips like my mother but i started puberty in fourth grade but my body is still shaped like a ruler. Its soo frustrating, theres so many girls at school with and hourglass figures and not just "thick" girls but even anorexic-looking girls as well. I was browsing the web yesterday and i came across these butt enhancing pills called BBB pills. They claim to take the fat from your stomach and transfer it to your butt and hips. I really want to try them but a one-month supply costs 100dollars and im not willing to spend that money without being certain that ill see some results. I was at the gym today though and instead of doing cardio the whole time, i decided to do some strength training instead. I was walking around the gym and i noticed these two machines. The hip adduction and the hip abduction. Im not really sure what the purpose is for them but im guessing that if i use those machines on a regular basis my hips will become shapely and firm. Well i hope so because thats what happened with my legs haha. Im so obsessed with my appearance but i chose to see this as a good thing because maybe one day ill finally look how i want... like Megan Foxx (:
stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Ive been think about working out and going to the gym so much lately, i feel like im addicted to it! Ive gone to the gym for three hours the last two days. Ive also been restricting but for some reason i dont seem to be loosing any weight ): My friend thinks its because im gaining muscle but i dont know because while im at the gym i spend most of my time on the elliptical or treadmill. Ughh i dont like this. I mean i feel a whole lot lighter but the number on the scale isnt going down and it frustrates me sooo much. I just hope i look thin on Memorial Day... but yeah i think im gonna go to the gym now, goodbye pretties (:
stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Domino Effect

I was doing so well and last night i binged ): I was soo mad at myself i mean all that hard work i put into losing weight was just shot back a couple of days. I gained two pounds. I know, unacceptable so today during lunch i drank a bottle of water. I was hungry afterwards so i ended up drinking another one. Im proud of myself for that move. After school i went to McDonalds and had..... a side salad! After that, i went to the gym and got a membership. I was on the elliptical for 20minutes and then i did a zumba class. When i got home i thought i would binge but i had..... Special K cereal! i cant believe it, its like the guilt from binging last night motivated me to make all these really good choices throughout today. Tomorrow im going to the gym again, my friend wants to lose weight so i think itll be easier to keep going since ill have someone else to do it with me. Ahh i cant want to see some results but now i have to buy some sport bras hahah
stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Ana Bracelet?

Hey girls! i was wondering if any of you wear an ana bracelet? Im actually thinking about making one out of embroidery floss so maybe someone at school will recognize it and maybe i can find someone with ana who actually lives in my town haha. But yeah if you do wear one, what does it look like? and on which wrist do you wear it? Ahh so many questions hahah.

 Anyways, it is now almost 6:55pm and i still havent given in! After school I even played frisbee and walked a bit (: i hope i can keep this up though. Im trying to keep busy so at seven im meeting my friend and were going to this youth group thing at our church. My diet consisted of:

      Nutri-Grain Bar-139cals
      Crystal Light- 12.5cals
      Bottled Water-0 cals
     Granola Bar- 90cals
     Pineapple Chunks- 60cals

Im thinking about maybe some crackers(60calories) and diet soda(0calories) for dinner so that should add up to about 360calories. Im finally on track, i hope you ladies are doing well too (:

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Strange Stufff.

I was browsing the web yesterday and i stumbled across the oddest thing, the cotton ball diet. I think its so strange i mean i know some people are desperate for weight loss but why would anyone try that? Is cotton even edible? Hmm i wonder these things...

I need a new scale, i weighed in today and i got every number from 139.2 to 136.6, its so stressful i really wanna know the exact number. This is my third scale since new years, does anyone know good scales out there? Right now im so fed up with crappy scales that price isnt even an issue. i just want to find the one! hahah it sounds like im in a sappy romance looking for the right guy lmao

Since my scale didnt show a number in the forties i am going to assume that im not gaining weight. Im planning on buying a new scale tomorrow. I have big plans for this week, whatever it is i actually weigh minus 4pounds. so if i weigh 139 i want to be 135 by friday. 135 is not bad i havent been at that weight for a while and plus now i do strength training so i have muscle, yaaay i can leg press 230pounds. i think i want to start doing ab workouts so my stomach becomes tighter... i think ill start now! haha

                                                                 stay strong & remember what really matters 
xoxo <3!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Still no signs of weakness

I didnt go to school today and i was terrified because normally when i stay home i end up eating about 4000calories but for some reason today was different (: i ate a total of 475calories, not bad considering i even went to McDonalds. Of course i didnt get a burger or anything, i got a fruit&walnut salad (210calories). If you really think about it, fast food places actually have healthy choices like salads and grilled chicken sandwiches. Calories start to add up once condiments and sauces are added to whatever it is your eating. At McDonalds i usually get a side salad(20calories) with vinaigrette dressing (60calories). Its not as good as french or italian but the calories difference is pretty big so i think its deffinately worth it.

I was kinda upset at myself for not going to school because i was suppose to go to a zumba class with my friend afterschool :P Oh well im just glad i didnt overeat. I weighed 139.6 this morning (: whoop whoop, there are 17more days until the pool party and im already soo close to 135.0. If things keep doing this well i think im going to decrease my goal weight to 130.0 (:

Sweat marks

So far today is going pretty well, ive eaten about 100calories and i just finished running three miles. (: im going to join the cross country team and i need to get in shape which to me is just an excuse to burn calories haha. Im pretty hungry right now though so when i get home ill probabaly have some crackers and water with maybe some crystal light or i dont know watermelon sounds pretty good too haha.
This morning i weighed in at 141.4, yesterday morning i was 144.6 so im making some progress! I was soo tempted to buy a slice of pizza today at lunch but nope instead i had a nature valley granola bar thing, theres no way im letting food get in the way of my perfect beach bod haha. I kept looking at my ana bracelet whic i finished yesterday by the way, it definately helped me stay on track! i think if you girls need a little something as a reminder, an ana bracelet is for sure something that'll work :D

this is actually from yesterday but for some reason Blogger wasnt working

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The pressure is on

Oh dear, im such a failure! Ive completely lost touch with ana ): I havent gained weight or anything but i havent been losing any either. Right now im somewhere around 141ish, i need to change that like asap! On Memorial Day im going to a pool party and  theres no way im wearing a one piece. Lets see... today is the 10th which means i have 20days to lose weight. My goal is to lose ten pounds. Thats pretty reachable but i just need to stay focused. Im going to workout atleast four times a week, cut back on eating out with friends, and limit myself to a maximum of 500calories per day. I can do this... i hope