Monday, June 27, 2011

Anything's worth being THIN

Sorry I've been gone for a while, I've been working so much lately I barely have any me-time anymore. Tomorrow is the big day, I am going to the beach (:

The most amazing thing happened to me today. My friend introduced me to her friend who is also ana and mia! i cant believe it, a girl in my town that shares my interest. I'm so siked, well i was until my friend started saying its all in my head and that I'm just doing that because i wanna be like her. Hmm i guess i shouldn't have told the girl in front of her since my friend didn't know about my 'special' ways. Eh oh well, i just hope i can stay in touch with the girl. I think I'm gonna send her a link to my blog so she sees I'm not bluffing. I'm kind of bummed that my friend feels that way though, i don't know i mean maybe she just feels left out since i have so much in common with this new girl. She worries about her weight allot like we do so maybe she should consider taking up ana, I doubt it though because she doesn't see the big picture: Anything's worth being THIN.

W.Countdown: ---

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Yes Mother

Blahh yesterday i was doing so well. I got home from work at around 10pm and had only eaten about 270calories. My parents had ordered Chinese food and got my favorite. I cant stand when they buy me food without asking if i even want anything because if i don't eat it i'm considered "ungrateful." Story of my life.

I was so scared to get on the scale this morning. I was sure it would be 141 or higher but surprisingly it was 138.0. So now im back to where i was two days ago... great. Today im hoping to make up for that. Im planning on eating 150calories or less and hopefully weighing in at around 137.2 tomorrow morning. Tonight i work though so that might be a challenge, but hey last night i did pretty hopefully tonight goes the same... fingers crossed!

W.Countdown: 21.0

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Back in the thirties. (:

Ive beeen so busy lately with summer assignments for AP classes ill be taking next year and thinking about college and junk. I know ill only be a junior in high school this year but its better to do things early than late. Ive already made a list of the top twenty colleges i want to apply to! (:

All this focusing on academics has really helped with my eating habits. I ate about 200calories tuesday, and about 500calories yesterday and the best part is that im never hungry! today i weighed in a 137.8. I tried my swim suit from last year on today and it actually looks good, not how i want it to look but it is decent. It feeels soo good to be back in the 130s :D

I was hanging out with some friends yesterday and we stopped at a convienient store to grab a bite to eat and i got a diet snapple and an apple! It wasnt even like i made myself either, thats just what looked good to me which is soo strange because i love thier fries and shakes ha. My friends thought it was weird so i told them im a vegetarian and they didnt question me anymore, mann i love that excuse! Haha

W.Countdown: 20.8

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Summer Cold.

I slept all day yesterday because of this random cold. It was so weird, it came out of no where and today im perfectly fine. i guess my immune system is on overdrive haha. I plan to restrict today, hmm my limits is 325calories. Ahh beach in like two weeks!

W. Countdown: 24.4

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Whatever It Takes

Yep so last night i decided to go on a 72hour fast and it didnt go so well. I was so stressed with school and guys and all that and i ended up binging. I couldnt stand the feeling of fullness, i felt like i was going to blow up to the size of a blimp so i drank two glasses of water, shoved my fingers down my throat and viola! It was weird, after i purged i wasnt worried about all the stuff from earlier and it felt amazing. I was still concerned about my weight though so i drank another laxative tea. I know the side effects of mia are really dangerous but eh right now i couldnt care less, if im thin then ill be happy and thats all that matters. Today im going to try fasting though, i also want to drink tons of water since im probabaly dehydrated from the laxatives and purging.

I found this quote the other day and i love it: Coffee and smokes and cold diet cokes, thats what pretty girls are made of.

W.Countdown: 24.6

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Absolutely Disgusting.

I haven't weighed myself in quite sometime and but it deffinately seems like i look slimmer and today when i got on the scale it read 142.2! I cant believe it! i was sure that i wouldn't be in the 140s. I'm so disappointed with myself. I haven't eaten all day and i don't plan to until Saturday afternoon. Im still in shock, how can i be this high?! After i got home from school i drank two of those laxative teas i talked about before. Im still not feeling anything so i think im going to have another one later on in the evening. I know its going to cause major cramps but if itll get me down to the 130s then im absolutely fine with that. Saturday afternoon i plan on eating a something under 300calories and then having non-caloric drinks after that. I need ana in my life!

W.Countdown: 25.2

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Carlie Carlson Constantly Counts Calories.

Ew its raining. I don't feel like doing much today. Last night i was on YouTube and i came across ED documentaries and they're actually pretty good. I watched two last night and they were each about two hours long and during that time i didn't eat so im going to do that today since im spending the day at home. After my Psychology final i was kinda bored so i started doodling and i then decided to make a food schedule. It looks something like this:

-40calorie slice of bread
-10calories worth of cottage cheese
-24oz. of water

-15calorie tortilla thing
-20calories worth of guacamole
-24oz. water

-FiberOne 90calorie bar
-laxative tea
-16oz. of water

Since tomorrow and Thursday i also have finals, i think im going to use this food schedule then as well but i think im might move things around so i dont get bored with it. Drinking so much water should also help me hydrate for cross country. I cant wait for that! (:

W.Countdown: ---

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

Monday, June 6, 2011


Eeeek! My friend introduced me to her friend and hes soo cute. He's Asian (: haha. He's really nice and i think he might like me. We were at the park today and i saw him playing basketball...without his shirt on and he has such a nice body. It kinda gets me thinking, if we do start talking and like eventually go out or something then i don't want to be fat and gross-looking. I want him to be proud to introduce me to his friends and say "yeah, the tall pretty one is my girlfriend." im so glad cross country practice starts next week though because i really don't want to stay home and eat this summer and plus will im running ill be burning calories. We have finals all this week and im trying to stay away from food because stress always seems to lead me back to it. I found that if i listen to music and chew gum while i study i barely think about food, you guys should try it sometime! (:

W.Countdown: ---

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!

P.S look at my new thinspo, i love it. I edited it myself, just seeing it makes me not as hungry!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Yep, that's high school for ya.

Ahhh! im going to go insane. School is soo frustrating! Girls are so catty and immature. For goodness' sake, school will be over in a couple of days, these are the weeks were suppose to enjoy because after summer vacation we wont get to see each other as easily. Sometimes i wonder how people can be so mean, does it like make people feel better to insult others? Oh whatever, im just going to block everyone out and try to make some more good memories (:

W.Countdown: 22.8

stay strong & remember what really matters
xoxo <3!