Let it Snow!

Yesterday I decided I was going to go back Ana. I hung out with some friends and all I ended up eating throughout the day was a 160cal parfait and tons of iced tea sweetened with Splenda (: Overall I think I did really well. Yesterday morning i weighed 141.8 and this morning I'm down to 136.6. I think it seems pretty low but I think I might be because I'm on my period so all the bloating is going away. Oh well as long as the number on the scale keeps decreasing I'm happy. 

It's been so cold in this town lately, today it even started snowing... in October! I was kind of bummed out because I don't really like the cold but hey, being cold burns calories and I've noticed that sometimes it even curves hunger? Ha so by all means... let it snow (:

Not a want but a need.

"YOU NEED TO BE PERFECT, YOU NEED TO BE THIN, YOU NEED TO BE PRETTY, YOU NEED TO SUCCEED"

Over and over I hear these taunting words. I toss and turn but I cannot sleep. This is so familiar. Its happened before. I'm beginning to sweat. I cannot breathe. I can feel my heart beat throughout my body. What is happening? What am I missing? What is the meaning behind this insomnia and unhappiness? Oh wait, could it be? No, never. I am living a healthy lifestyle. That comes with joy and bliss. Lies. I'm not happy, instead miserable. Not healthy, instead fat. There is no other explanation. I know what I am missing. The key component to perfection... Ana. Oh, how I've missed you. Please forgive me. Do not be angry with me. I promise to listen. This time will be different. I will obey you, do anything you please. But please make me thin...